Ep 196 What is your mental load?
===
Sara Mayer: [00:00:00] Welcome to the bold goal crusher podcast for anyone looking to stop letting life get in the way and start crushing bold goals. I'm your host, Sara Mayer, and I'm thrilled to navigate this journey with you because it's time to start boldly achieving without working double time. So let's dive in.
Sara Mayer: Hello, bold goal crushers. Today, we're going to talk about this concept of mental load, and you may or may not have heard about mental load. So let's start off by defining that. And I was listening to a podcast about mental load. And so that's why I thought that this would be a great topic.
Sara Mayer: Mental load really refers to the cognitive burden or pressure associated with managing coordinating and organizing tasks responsibilities [00:01:00] and the decision making process in various aspects of life, such as at work at home and in relationships. So it's. All the mental effort that's required to plan, remember, and anticipate tasks, as well as obligations, and it often involves a constant juggling of multiple demands at the same time.
Sara Mayer: And this concept is particularly relevant in the context of the invisible and often unacknowledged emotional labor that individuals, typically women, Perform in managing and coordinating household tasks for meal, familiar responsibilities. And it highlights the overlooked emotional and mental toll of doing that, which can lead to increased stress as you can imagine emotional exhaustion and maybe some rub between partners.
Sara Mayer: Now I don't want people to [00:02:00] think that this is just mental load is just in the home. I've worked in a lot of corporate environments and we used to laugh that you don't really know what somebody does until they're no longer doing it. Especially in a couple of the companies that did layoffs.
Sara Mayer: And it would be like, I didn't realize that person did that. And then nobody was doing it. So you realize that. So mental load really is this burden that a lot of us have an experience in our daily lives. It's the things that we keep in our heads. So for example, coordinating doctor's appointments for children, it's remembering that, oh, their class schedule is at this time, and this is a class they struggle in.
Sara Mayer: So we probably don't want to take them out of class at that time. And they're allergic to this. And, oh, after that, we need to make sure we're getting them to soccer practice. And so we need to pack their entire soccer bag and, oh, I actually need to wash their jersey and wear their soccer shoes. And in order to go to this one doctor's appointment, All of that [00:03:00] needs to be coordinated, remembered, and it's typically not written down and that's mental load.
Sara Mayer: So the concept of that is, is it's really a burden and it's also invisible. So many times spouses, workers, people in general have all these things going on in their head and running. In their head, yet it's not something that others may recognize that's really going on. And it also can. They're overlooked.
Sara Mayer: There are things that are involved in the task that are often overlooked. So going on vacation is another prime example. I know I talk about this all the time where we get excited that we're going to go on vacation and we book the trip. We book the place. We book the venue. We book the cool parts. We maybe even do a schedule, but we forget about all the things that go into going on vacation.
Sara Mayer: Sometimes we even forget to book some of the things, [00:04:00] like book the dog going to the kennel, book the hair appointment, the nail appointment, the time to pack, the time to do laundry. And those are all the things that are part of the mental load. And I don't want to jump too much into gender because everybody is dynamic in a relationship and in work and various things is very different.
Sara Mayer: But typically there is. A difference in male versus female, the distribution of the mental load, and that often leads to disproportionate expectations for women. So women are expected to work and carry some mental load there. Sometimes they're expected to take care of kids at home, or they're expected to take care of her household chores.
Sara Mayer: And that's why you see some of the funny things on tick tock where. It's leave a guy at home for a week and he realizes how much goes into that. But it's [00:05:00] also society that puts these norms on us. And when you think about the workplace, some men used to have secretaries and that used to be the thing, or people who went and got their coffee.
Sara Mayer: And I know that's changed a lot. We've done a lot over the years to change that, but there still is a mental load that we all carry and it's often the mental load. That's unseen. We may know how to do the specific task, or we may know somebody's doing that, but everything else is probably not documented in rental written down and there are.
Sara Mayer: A lot of research studies on the division of labor, mental labor in households, workplaces and other social settings. And I think the higher you get up in the chain, the more help you may have to carry some of that mental load. But many of us are carrying that on our own and. There's some equal unequal mental load on [00:06:00] relationships, often career progression and overall well being.
Sara Mayer: So just put that in perspective as we talk about some of the effects of the mental load. So there are emotional consequences to carrying the mental load. Especially carrying excessive mental load, including heightened stress, anxiety, and mental exhaustion. And I know you're probably thinking right now, I have so much in my head that's what I think about all the time.
Sara Mayer: When I used to work in the corporate environment, and we would say, you don't know what people do until they're not doing it. It was a joke, but it was not a good thing. Those people had significant knowledge. But they also probably carried that stress, that anxiety, and that. Feeling of everything is on their shoulders.
Sara Mayer: So there are a couple coping strategies to manage the mental load and to alleviate the effects of mental load. And [00:07:00] I want to encourage an open dialogue between partners, but also in a work setting between coworkers, because that's the best way to foster a healthy approach. To addressing the mental load.
Sara Mayer: Now, there are some strategies that you can use to reduce the mental load. The 1st 1 is to offer actionable solutions for redistributing the mental load within household. If you want to think about it at a household level, I don't have a partner that I live with or anything like that, but I have had some couples tell me that They went through when they first set up their house and went through all the tasks like mow the lawn, do the laundry, do the all the stuff, wash the dishes and decided who was going to be responsible for that.
Sara Mayer: You can even add schedule the doctor visits and everything like that. And one couple that I worked with when I [00:08:00] was coaching, they actually said, it's, we're not going to share like I'm not doing trash. That's your deal. And you could either do it or you could pay somebody to do it, or we can assign that chore, or I don't want to call it a chore, that task to a child.
Sara Mayer: And I'm responsible for delegating it to the child and making sure the child gets it done. And if they don't do it, I'm responsible for doing it. And so I. I think really having that open communication is important. And at work, what I noticed when I managed employees is that there were people who took on more and more.
Sara Mayer: And there were people who didn't take that on. And the reality is, I don't know if they were setting boundaries, they were just not motivated, but I started going to the people that would take more on more frequently because I knew they would get it done. They were ambitious and they would do it. But at what cost like I was probably adding to their mental load.
Sara Mayer: So [00:09:00] I think it's really important to have those open communications and remember that sometimes the people that raise their hand 1st are not always the people who should get the job. There are a couple of other strategies. I highly encourage people to create organizational systems, routines, and technology, and use technology to streamline and manage mental load more effectively, not only in the workplace, but at home.
Sara Mayer: I think one of the coolest things that I've ever done, I have my notebook over here if you're watching on the YouTube video. Is I started documenting how I do certain things because what I noticed is that I didn't want to delegate something to someone because it would take me longer to teach them. And when I started documenting things, like one example is how I edit my podcast.
Sara Mayer: I have a whole document. It happens to be written in a notebook, but I also have it in a [00:10:00] sauna, which is the project managing tool that I use, but I have an entire document on how I do it. Now I am still editing my podcast. It doesn't mean that I. Won't delegate that in the future. But when I do delegate that, they will have the step by step process.
Sara Mayer: And I put that in a timeframe and it makes it easier when somebody's taking on a new task for me to trust that they have the tools and ability to do it because I've downloaded that mental load. And I think that's really important. You can do that in your work setting. You can do that in your life. It doesn't need to be.
Sara Mayer: Just for work. That could be something you do in your home. Here's how I manage all the laundry. Here's how I do this. And then when somebody goes out of town or something happens or somebody gets sick, there are notes. And it's not a mental [00:11:00] burden on both people at that time. So I highly encourage the use of operational strategies like a sauna.
Sara Mayer: Now, I think one of the other things to remember when reducing the mental load is it's important to do self care set boundaries and prioritize things to prevent overwhelm and mental load. So there. Can be a more e equitable and inclusive environment that values and supports the fair distribution of mental load.
Sara Mayer: But I think one of the first things is truly to be aware of what mental load is and everything that comes along with that. And many people are very skilled at managing the mental load and they look as if they have it all together. But remember, a lot of the mental load are things that we have to be responsible for and remember.
Sara Mayer: And it's that constant [00:12:00] stream in our minds. So in conclusion, I want you to really think about what mental load you carry and also what mental load do others carry. And maybe think about redistributing that and thinking about all the complexities of that mental load and then ask yourself, what toll is this taking on me?
Sara Mayer: And I encourage you to reflect on your own experiences and also have some meaningful conversations with others in your life. I'm responsible for remembering all these things and Once you have that conversation, really think about how you might streamline that. Could you set it as a task in a project management software that automatically repeats?
Sara Mayer: Could you remove it from your mental stress and worry? So I encourage you to really think about the awareness of mental load, and I invite you to [00:13:00] share maybe your insights on how and personal stories on how you have managed the mental load. And maybe think about that. Drop a comment in here if you're on the YouTube about how you manage mental load.
Sara Mayer: Now, if you're like, what is Asana? I encourage you to check out Asana. It's one of my favorite task management tools. It will help you keep your entire life in order. If you're anything like me, when I first started out, I started off with notes on my phone, reminders on my phone, post it notes everywhere, notebooks everywhere.
Sara Mayer: And Asana really is my go to place. I put everything I need to do in there. And I even have a someday maybe dream board, like someday maybe I'll create a fishpond. And when I do have all the things I need attached to that fishpond in Asana. So if you aren't using a project management tool or you haven't found one you love, I encourage you to check out Asana.
Sara Mayer: I'll link it in the show notes. All right, bold goal [00:14:00] crushers. It is time to really think about your mental load, reducing that mental load so that you can crush everything that gets in the way and achieve your goals. So let's get to it.
Sara Mayer: Thank you for tuning into the bold goal crusher podcast where we crush goals and everything that gets in the way. I always love to support my community.
Sara Mayer: I look forward to seeing you crush your goals this year.
